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Be cautious when making judgements about your parent’s potential mate and remember that they are also sailing uncharted water with as much apprehension as you are experiencing.Losing a lifelong partner is devastating and frightening for the survivor.Just as seniors have appropriated Starbucks and Facebook from their grandchildren, they flood gyms to take Pilates and yoga classes.As Joe Queenan, a Baby Boomer journalist and essayist, wrote in 2011, “Boomers will always act like it is still the day the Stones released ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash.'”“It’s never too late” is the mantra of the Boomers – never too late to start a new career, to change physiques or hair colors, to start new hobbies, or find a new mate.When confronted with a parent’s new love, adult children often have conflicting emotions about the relationship – joy and jealousy, relief and resentment, surprise and suspicion.A hundred questions and no answers will pop into your mind: These questions are natural and need be addressed.With age, men generally become more tender and less aggressive, while women become more assertive and have little need for outside validation of their worth.By age 65, many people are comfortable in their own skins and are willing to accept others as they are.
While widowers over the age of 65 are more likely to remarry than widows due to the greater pool of mates from which to choose, widows are also remarrying at a greater rate than previous generations due to extended life spans.
A long-lasting marriage gives most couples a sense of accomplishment, security, and comfort which death wipes away in an instant.
Your parent has and may continue to struggle with guilt about forming a new partnership, worried that finding a new mate is disloyal to the love and memories of the deceased spouse.
By the time you reach 65, after decades in a marriage, many of the rough spots have been worn smooth with the currents of time, just as a stone tumbled and tossed in a river.
Older couples frequently say their senior years are the best times of a marriage, being able to focus on each other without the conflicts and responsibilities of children and careers.
As novelist Barbara Neely said when turning 65, “I look in the mirror more often, smile at the lovely lady, and hope I look as good as she does when I reach her age.”Inevitably, a widow or widower will turn to other people, seeking to rebuild the social life they experienced before the death of their spouse or partner.